Mixology 101

Long Island Iced Tea is one of the hardest drinks to make well because, while strictly speaking anyone with the proper ingredients can mix one, only those who truly understand the artistry of mixing drinks can make them well. Why is the Long Island so difficult to properly make? It involves properly mixing 5 shots of hard alcohol with a little coke and lemon or sweet and sour mix into an average-sized juice glass and served on the rocks. The amount of liquid and the size of the glass alone leave little room for failure, much less the challenge of making a concoction of: Vodka, Gin, Tequila, Triple Sec, and Rum taste alcohol-free. Made properly, a Long Island is one of the best and smoothest drinks ever; made improperly it’s a disaster of epic proportions, sort of like the current state of GH

Garin Wolf certainly had his work cut out for him when he took over for Guza as head writer of Disney/ABC’s last remaining daytime sudser, but Wolf also had something that Guza lost about 10 years before – the support of most fans of the show. Granted little else behind-the-scenes changed for GH when Wolf took over the Mac book, and Guza’s stories had to be wrapped up, Wolf still had to work with characters in the aftermath of the stories of Guza that could not be scrapped or significantly changed, but it’s been 6, almost 7, months and the show is little better than it was under Guza. That’s not to suggest that all the current problems with GH are all on Wolf as he’s not the only one who makes story pitches, gives the green lights to stories, determines the budget, and he’s not in charge of the contracts actors have much less the terms contained in them. However, he does have a talented writing staff, for the most part, and one of the best casts in scripted daytime tv. A talented bartender can make a proper and wonderful tasting Long Island regardless of whether the alcohol used is top shelf or not; the same principle should apply for a talented showrunner.

The last time Wolf was steering the good ship Port-O-Chuckles, the show vastly improved until the strike ended and Guza returned. So what gives now? As that question will likely never be truthfully answered, here’s the shoulda, coulda, woulda of Wolfie so far:

– Instead of resurrecting Lisa, how about Georgie Jones, or Sean Kanan’s AJ Q, Alan Q, Tony Jones, Dominique Baldwin, Zander Smith, or Faison?
– Instead of first turning Siobhan psycho only to kill her off, why couldn’t she have just been written off?
– Instead of Lucky losing a child and a son in a little over a season, why couldn’t he and Liz or he and Siobhan have worked through the grief of losing Jake and come out of it stronger and closer?
– Instead of having Matt cheating on Maxie with Liz, why not build and actual, compelling triangle?
– Instead of bringing back Franco, why not bring back just about anyone else in the history of the show including Courtney Matthwes, Bill Eckert, or Katherine Bell?
– If Franco must be brought back, could he at least do the show a favor and kill of Spinelli, Lisa, and Sonny?
– If Michael must be regressed to an immature douche bag, at least give him an age appropriate girlfriend with which it may go along. This could also allow Abby to actually have her gumption and brains back, and possibly even a new romance with Johnny or Nikolas or Ethan or just about anyone else within her relative age group.
– Instead of making Ethan a Spencer-family-know-it-all despite the fact that he wasn’t there for like any of the history he proclaims to get, why not just have made him a Scorpio like he should have been all along?
– why not use conversations between the Spencer siblings to actually put the history of Laura’s incarceration right, or at least not further bastardize it, which only further insults fans and GF, in a way?
– why not give Emma a sibling and actually address Robin’s HIV status with regards to her pregnancy this time? Yes, KMc’s leaving makes this moot, but still.
– instead of giving every Spencer sibling, but Ethan a substance abuse problem, why not come up with an original story or, what a concept, just allow Lulu and Dante to be happy?
– why aren’t we seeing more inter-generational storytelling and why was Kristina sent off to Yale? Not that Helena is the picture of the warm and fuzzy step-grandmother, but that’s one of the few families with children through grandparents still regularly seen on the show. Why not more of non-obnoxious Michael and the Q’s too for that matter?

Bottom line, bring back Claire Labine and Wendy Riche, whatever it takes. At least let the show have either a fighting chance or go out with some dignity.


About jakeskelly

Lifelong fan of ABC soaps, especially GH, and resigned to the fact that I'll probably stick with them til the bitter end no matter how quickly that comes. Oh, and I also like to create new drinks, which is a good thing considering my taste in tv shows.
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3 Responses to Mixology 101

  1. Flutterby says:

    Finally an update! I was about ready to give up you…

    Agree with everything, but a few suggestions to add:
    Characters who should be brought back: Laura!!!! Ned, Sarah Webber, Bobbie Jones, Robert & Anna Scorpio.
    Villains who should be brought back: Alcazar, Manny, Faith.
    I guess you’re not fully caught up on the show or you’d know that instead of returning characters with a history on the show we’ve gotten a new police officer with an attitude problem who adds nothing to the canvas, as well as a mysterious man lurking at Wyndemere who is rumored to be a doctor who will eventually join the staff at GH. An finally, in a retread of yet another story we have NuDoc Maggie (retread of Lisa so far given her over the top enthusiasm for mentioning her past with Steven, retread of Rachel Adair from the previous incarnation of Steven Lars if gossip is to be believed).
    And if gossip is to be believed, this is the ending stretch for GH, so why are we wasting time with new characters we’re not invested in? And why are we wasting time establishing stories that are dropped for months at a time if not dropped entirely? First Kate has a few mysterious phone calls implying she is being blackmailed or has a deep dark secret, then she almost passes out at the hospital when Dante is shot- but now she is falling for Sonny all over again, which requires huge suspension of disbelief given the history there, & the “mystery” appears to have been dropped. Olivia was feeling dizzy over several GH days & eventually took a pregnancy test. The results were never shown or discussed (though we can assume it was negative given that she is drinking wine in recent epis) and her dizzy spells have stopped as suddenly as they started with no explanation. Anthony Z had a spy at ELQ & was plotting to take it over, but that seems to have been dropped in favor of him making occasional half-hearted attempts to blackmail Tracy into bed. Drugs at GH had been replaced with lower doses & Lucky was investigating, but somehow with the discovery of a drug ring at a bakery (the leaders of which were never identified & brought to justice) we are to believe all is ok with the drug supply at GH once again. I know sometimes details are negligible when you consider the big picture, but the big picture sucks on GH right now, so I am stuck on the details which are doing nothing to pull this show together…
    And don’t get me started on the re-write of Luke & Laura’s history, Bad enough he cheats on Tray with hookers ( & so nice of him to care that his old friend Lupe was killed by her pimp & his daughter was almost raped & killed as well) but now we are to believe he cheated on Laura for years (beyond the one-night stand that supposedly resulted in Ethan)? Why must this show completely destroy it’s own history? It certainly doesn’t further current stories…
    So it looks like my comment turned into a bit of a rant, so I’ll end here… This show is just broken 😦 and I’m not sure what it’ll take to fix it at this point…

  2. Jakeskelly says:

    Dude never apologize for ranting about GH; the show and above the line talent involved, but the actors and the script writers, to a point, deserve it. It’s almost insulting to the crew and viewers of old to even compare the current GH to what the show used to be in the 60’s, late 70’s, 80’s (from what I’ve read and seen courtesy of youtube), and the majority of the 90’s.
    I still need to get caught up on actually seeing the show for myself, which I may eventually be able to finish doing, but I’m fairly caught up on stories thanks to the awesomeness that is Lanteland and Despair in the Afternoon. The new cop characters seems totally lame and pointless. One the one hand I’m glad a new member of the PCPD was introduced over a mobster or other form of criminal, but they could have done much better. Wasn’t Rachel Adair also involved with AJ and murdered? Great, because we really need to revisit a sub-plot of the story that originally marked Michael as a killer.
    I also completely agree with you about the returns, but last I heard both Tristan Rogers and Genie Francis are still contracted with Y&R. I would add Sean and Tiffany to that list of characters to bring back as well as Bobbie Jones, Audrey Hardy, Rena Sofer’s Lois, Heather Webber (so long as Lisa, Anthony, and the new doc chick are written off first), Mike Webber, and a few others that will be in my next post that I’m working on and should be up tomorrow. It has to be up tomorrow because I won’t have a day off again until Sun, Dec 4 🙂

  3. Jakeskelly says:

    Since I can’t edit comments, a second post to clarify one thing. I know they didn’t bring back Rachel Adair, but to even redo that story… Not as bad as the hatchet job that was both recent revisits to the BJ/Maxie story, but still. Bad history can just be forgotten and especially when a show may only have months left to live.

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